मुतिन्य

This time it’s all fucked up
I can barely focus on the page
My words bent on not being written now
They so shamed by me
Shame that I can be this way
They don’t wana talk bout the way
The way I let you touch me
They so mad that I believed your lies
This poem so disconnected
This poem so damn rough
My words they wana tear me up
My words don’t wana come out my mouth
They can still taste the taint
Of your tongue swallowing them whole
This poem like a deep six demon
This poem is making this paper bleed
My words they wielding blades
My words angry
You see they cant make me whole
They can not believe I let your filth inside my soul
My words never want to remember
This poem like cement prison cell
This poem is like a shackle
My words they forget softness
They be ripping open the dew scented skin
The places I let you in
My words they want revenge
They tumble like a rioting rabble
They hunt you baby
My words they know your scent
This poem too rough for lovers
This poem too dark for you to see
My words just refuse to fall in dewy lament
They be screaming in my ear
‘Are you fucking stupid dear?’
My words be lean and mercenary
Like dark grim eyed nightmares
This poem is shot to hell now
It is toasting in the flame
My words get all fucked up now
You see they can’t blame me…
They know they were there too
They know they whispered for me
They angry and they won’t come
I am sensing it is the end
My words get all fucked up
I cannot make a sound
Another time

had
You had me…
Had me thinking
Had me inking
Pages of poetry to you
Had me falling
Had me calling
You r phone all hours
Had me smile faking
Had my soul aching
For you to come around
Had me believing
Had me deceiving
Myself, with your clever words
Had me crying
Had me trying
To figure out what went wrong
Had me heart breaking
Had me soul shaking
When you left me like
You had
Had me like it was nothing
You had
Had me
You had.

thinkin..
I keep thinking of the way I thought it would be
Of you and me
Late night conversation
Us forging our own ambition
Places we could go
Things we could see
How id hold your hand wherever
I was ready to slay my demons
Just because I could see the way we could be
So clear I could see us upturning destiny
Making those shocked faces soft in wonderment
When they saw us
Make them testify
We had the goods
We could’ve defy d fate
Even in that wild jitterbug dreaming s
I saw holding your son inside of me
Below my heart
So he could see
The wonderment of beauty his father be
Then suddenly I am here
Afraid again
Outside my safe circle
And then I see
You show me visions of reality
I see the world
And wish I was blinded
By more than tears
In reality
You drown me
Consorting with my deepest fears.

It seems like tonight …
It seems like tonight you need me…
For your sake I pray you come
Throw the doors wide open
It seems like tonight you should come home
Let me hold you up
I got tears plenty to cry
It seems like tonight I should love you
Let me fill you up
Chase away the dark
It seems like tonight you must be revived
Be here at your place
It seems like tonight you need me
And it seems like tonight I aint into no…

never
I can’t say I am all done
Never hear me say it is over
My heart is walking still with you
I can get angry
But how can I hate you
It’s like I never can let go
Some little thing will still bind me
Bring me ever closer to you
Though I am not waiting
Not anticipating
I know now you won’t find me
My heart is walking still with you.
Though others come
And want to be
At my side and loving me
Somehow when they touch me
My soul knows it is travesty
My heart is walking still with you
Someday some she will own you
I will be watching in the crowd
Even then could I refuse you?
My heart is walking still with you
Some fine day I will awaken
To my ultimate repose
That day Ill say that it’s over
That day I am finally all done

.



Dreamtime

It must have been a dream
Such luminescent skin
A play of muscle beneath silk
Exclamations of wonder
Assault on my heart
The quiet joy of coming home
Every second of waiting
A million moments of questions
Drowned inside my mind
The instinctive response
My skin never forgot
Our cells rejoicing
Juiced on the high
Promises transient as sighs
Even as I said goodbye
My mind strung out the high
Smiling and loving
Wanting to shout to the world
The rush of knowing
The finality of belonging
To you
At last
then I woke up
and jaded eyes
Couldn’t spare a tear
It was like watching my greatest fear
This time my tears
Came easier than before
I knew this place
It is where I belong…














random...

This time it’s all fucked up
I can barely focus on the page
My words bent on not being written now
They so shamed by me
Shame that I can be this way
They don’t wana talk bout the way
The way I let you touch me
They so mad that I believed your lies
This poem so disconnected
This poem so damn rough
My words they wana tear me up
My words don’t wana come out my mouth
They can still taste the taint
Of your tongue swallowing them whole
This poem like a deep six demon
This poem is making this paper bleed
My words they wielding blades
My words angry
You see they cant make me whole
They can not believe I let your filth inside my soul
My words never want to remember
This poem like cement prison cell
This poem is like a shackle
My words they forget softness
They be ripping open the dew scented skin
The places I let you in
My words they want revenge
They tumble like a rioting rabble
They hunt you baby
My words they know your scent
This poem too rough for lovers
This poem too dark for you to see
My words just refuse to fall in dewy lament
They be screaming in my ear
‘Are you fucking stupid dear?’
My words be lean and mercenary
Like dark grim eyed nightmares
This poem is shot to hell now
It is toasting in the flame
My words get all fucked up now
You see they can’t blame me…
They know they were there too
They know they whispered for me
They angry and they won’t come
I am sensing it is the end
My words get all fucked up
I cannot make a sound.

searching

each second stamped with a single mark
anticipation
incitation
excitation
everytime i think about...
closed embraces
touching places
kissing faces
when i close my eyes...
those dark spaces
changing places
finding traces
when only i can hear...
those your voices
asking choices
midnight noises
each time i inhale...
deep desire
rising higher
igniting fire
and i can not stop this feeling
and i didnt think i d be dealing....
and with this feeling
this feeling...

touching you

how can i touch you unless it is not everywhere?

i will descend into the dark reach of you and enslave your demaons

i will fall like rain upon your seedling dreams untill they find germination

i will run with the primal heart of you

the waterwheel of your secret aspirations

the gateway of your body, leading me to the mansion of your mind

i will worship in the chapel of your soul

how can i touch you unless it is not everywhere?

therefore i will not stay

not deem it worthy to come inside

where i may not stay

words...

i want to seduce you with language but i have no words...
no words that burn, scorching the fields of my mind wet
no words as wild, as unbriddled as the passion you bid in me
no words as incitefull as your skins influence on mine
no words that curl like sparks of fire, licking my belly
what word feels like spine arching completion
no word as quicksilver as the electricity that dances between us
no word as luminous as the sheen of perfection tatooed on those arms
no poem can be as transcendental as that
i want to seduce with language but all i have is....
the sweeping verbs of these hands
the braille poetry of this skin
and the unbidden fay desire you conjure in me
i want to seduce with words...
but how can their mereness
touch your majesty

the way...

The way you come upon me
like a secret place ,
you see me
and know me free
incite me to fly
make me loose sight of my desires
you embrace me
now surprise me
again iam lost inside
my mind...

is it strange

you go into something eyes wide open...
still you do not see the arms of hell flung wide before you, you think you got it and you are in control untill you fall...then you realise before the ground rushes up to embrace you...that you never flew anyways...you just jumped high...so far you thought to hold the night sky in your hand ..but all you got was a swathe of air...
no trace of heaven
only air....